


Vermillion

by Strivvy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Choking, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Death, Dirty Talk, Dom!Kylo, Don't Like Don't Read, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Humiliation, I got the title because of Slipknot, Im not very good at Star Wars terminology, Inappropriate Use of Lightsabers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstiumlation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Smut, a plot line you can see from miles away, character screws with canon, face fucking, force sensitive, or engineering, possessive!Kylo, probably cliche but hey whatever, sub!Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-02-22 05:34:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13160334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strivvy/pseuds/Strivvy
Summary: You led a simple life- for the most part. Although you can't remember years of it, you take each day as slowly as the next with your adoptive father. That is, until the First Order rolls around to screw everything up. How are you expected to coexist with someone like Kylo Ren?





	1. Well, Okay Then

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fairly short chapter- mostly because it's been a hot minute since I've wrote anything. (Promise the next chapters will be longer)

A clank sounded throughout the repair shop, the silence momentarily disrupted before a slung of curses followed. Darkness flooded into the seemingly run-down store, the rattled garage poorly strung up high to allow easy access inside. Sand dragged inside the shop from years of feet and wind. The quiet town hummed in the night- everyone asleep or reserved to their hobbies. Jakku. A simple desert formed planet for the simplest of people- or scavengers. Although barren to nothing but the sandy reds, you could swear you’ve seen the greenest of greens somewhere in your memory. The richest of greens growing between build-able slits of rocks, water lapping at the very seams of the green. The sky, lit with billowing clouds- a contrast to your planet. 

And yet no matter how you tried, you just couldn’t remember the grass; you pulled for the memory desperately, but every time it slipped from your grasp, leaving you livid with grief.

A rusted yellow fork lift floated above the cracking cement, large and very broken. Very… very broken. And from the fork lift you popped out from, craning your neck to search for your fallen tool. “Ah, dammit,” came the mumble, realizing that you had to jump down to the floor.

“Hey, everything alright out there?” A voice called, your name sliding from the lips like butter. You froze from where you hung, now using your feet to hook over the side-arm of the fork lift, your body expending in the air.

Your fingers were just touching that damn tool. And well… now you looked like a fool. (What a rhyme)

You smiled shapely, face burning in embarrassment. “Oh…” You raised your reaching hand with a wave. “H-hey, Jakquel… How’s it… _hanging_ …?” You grinned, trying to keep yourself from laughing at the joke. The chagrian stood feet away, staring at you in disappointed-disbelief for a second, before the smile hung on his blue cheeks. “Funny.” He coincided. His boots clanked as you crouched before you, the tool spinning in his hands as he sighed, face worn from the years catching up to him. “What will I ever do with you?”

With a pout, you climbed down from the fork lift with a lot less grace than you were hoping for, your tail bone clanking on the ground. With a groan you sat up, rubbing your back, “continue to put up with me?” You grinned.

Jakquel sighed, placing the screwdriver within your grip. “You were entrusted with me when… of course I’ll always put up with you.” His old face grimaced with a sad smile, causing a deep breath of air to leave your lungs. _When I fell all those years ago…_

“Thanks, man. I always appreciate the help.” The two of you stood up, his blue hand giving your shoulder a tight squeeze. “The owner of this fork lift should be here tomorrow. Make sure you get that fixed up, yeah?” Jakquel had already begun to walk away before you could answer, your teeth gritting. You knew he trusted you… trusted you enough that when any work came in, went straight to you to fix.

With a gentle shrug you thrust yourself back up into the fork lift, kneeling on the metallic floor to peer into the open diagnostics terminal, humming to yourself as your fingers kneaded and grabbed. You wore fingerless gloves; probably not the smartest thing. You’ve singed your fingers on the daily.

Which is probably why you didn’t feel much of anything when the two, bipolar wires spit and blew when forced together.

“Good.” You praised yourself, adjusting the two wires to marry with a flick of your dominate hand. You closed the metal panel, twisting it shut with the screwdriver you saved. Yes, you. No help. Nope. You hoppled onto the cushioned seat, swinging your boots back and forth as you fiddled through your baggy jumpsuit for the keys. You turned the set of keys, the engine roaring with light. “Oh thank go-”

_Silence._

“Oh fucking- Urghhhhh.” You smashed your forehead against the headset. What were you missing? What could you possibly… _Oh_. You were fast on your feet, skidding to your knees for the panel directly underneath the keys. Your fingers fumbled with the multitude of wires and internal panels, mind on overdrive as you worked. The heat from above made a small twinge of sweat drip from your forehead, igniting your workspace with light. It was a tedious task, of course, fixing any vehicle that came into Jakquel’s shop; but he trusted you. Maybe… he trusted you too much?

Just as the thought settled, the engine roared back to life. You closed the panel slowly, lying back into the seat with a settled sigh. You wiped your brow, crossing your feet in exhausted contentment. This, however, didn’t last very long before you were back on your feet, the roaring ended with a swipe of your hand. You still had yet to fix the outer damage of twisting metal; sleep was not on the agenda tonight.

With a fixated groan you threw yourself from the fork lift, your feet twirling on the heel to face the vehicle. _Lacerations, bumps and bruises_. All you could fix... but the color up was for Jakquel. The matching and applying wasn’t your forte; you would rather fix. Although the kind man tried to convince you it really wasn’t that bad, you were too stubborn to try- surely it wasn’t fun like rewiring and adjusting panels.

The hours went by, the night howling wind and bringing nothing but darkness. You stood back from your work, nodding in approval. You were good at your job. Without much more time for selfish boasting, the ground shook. The air suffocated around you, the forklift bouncing back and forth, tools jittering down to the cement below. You could hear the start of screams of terror at the town below. A shout for your name sounded from the other room, your large blue friend rushing toward you. “We have to go.” Jakquel snarled in alarm. You stood, frozen and confused. What was going on?

“What’s happening?” You questioned as your shoulders were grabbed, Jakquel staring you deep in the eyes. “We’re leaving. _For your safety_.” Your cheeks flushed; shit did he know how to protect you. Jakquel basically adopted you from what you assumed was nothing, raising you to become a pretty decent engineer. He was like the father you couldn’t quite remember. With a faltered whine, he dragged you toward the back door, fumbling with the handle.

Your world felt as if it was crashing right in front of you. The terror radiated throughout your body- frozen to the ground. Were we running so we wouldn’t die, right? You sent a desperate stare toward Jakquel.

You paused, glancing toward the town; fire. Screams. “We... can’t...” Jakquel turned to stare at you, pure confusion convulsing his face. “People need our help... we can’t run.” Delusional to be a hero, you wiggled from his grip, running toward the hectic and sudden evil. Your name called from behind, a new fear lacing the tenor voice. Before you could break stride, you were scrambling away from multiple white armored, gun wielding stormtroopers. “Hands up.” One voice creaked from the mask. Hesitant, your hands rose, feeling the warmth of Jakquel beside you. Your eyes met, his words leaving through his eyes; run.

“I wouldn’t do that if you want to live.” A deep and electronic voice sounded. Your heart left through your throat- a tall man stood feet away, dressed in nothing but noir and evil. His hood shadowed the mask he wore, the source of the crackling. “We were turned in this direction. Which is the better engineer?” The deep voice growled, patience worn thin.

You glanced between yourself and Jakquel; why did they need an engineer...? The words hadn’t left your lips before the dark mass spoke again, “I suggest you hurry in deciding before I choose.” That was enough for your name to come flooding from Jakquel’s mouth. You stared at him, lips ajar. That... surely wasn’t right. But before you could protest, a pair of stormtroopers each came for you and your friend, grabbing your arms. “We’ll take the chagrian for interrogation. The girl... she has five minutes to pack. Bring her straight for the shuttle.” The commander turned fluidly, stalking back toward the roaring city with his troop of stormtroopers following.

Jakquel looked back helplessly, your throat closed in terror as the two armored men shoved and pushed you forward. It was a quick, painful packing session, your mind silently cursing up a storm. This... was unexpected. Why were you packing? Surely they weren’t going to spare you. How could they come and screw up your life like this? You had no affiliation. The First Order could suck your clit.

Almost like a riddle spoken, expectant for an answer, your head tingled, searing through your brain with seizes of pain. “Woah- what the fuck?” You grunted, ringing your fingers tightly through your hair. The fire inside your brain made you clamp your jaw shut, grimacing as your head screamed for relief. On cue, it ended, leaving you feeling sick to your stomach- exposed and vulnerable. “Come on.” One of the stormtroopers spoke, dragging you away with a small bag of clothes and ‘valuables’.

The walk through town was dreadful; the bodies of friends and familiar faces littered the smoked ground. Buildings were ruined and flaming; this wasn’t the home you knew. You neared the shuttle, that large man standing at the end of the ramp. “You are to get us flying. Find the problem.” He demanded. “Watch her.” Turning on heels, the man disappeared. “Yes, Commander.”

You twitched your eye in annoyance, immediately going to circle the ship a few times, lips pursed in thought. There it was. One of the panels was smoking lightly through the gaps, your fingers working to pry it open. You were greeted with a spitting wire, embers threatening to sour your day; as if this shit wasn’t enough. You were quick to rip the wire from its place, ending the threatening fire between two fingers. You hissed in pain- maybe you should get gloves...

As you hunched into the small place, you could feel the eyes of the two stormtroopers on your back. Gee, couldn’t they fuck off somewhere else? You knew you would be better off than dead if you ran away... maybe. The thought crossed your head for a second before reassuring yourself; if you proved an asset, perhaps they wouldn’t discard you like a piece of meat.

But this didn’t explain why they needed you... surely they would have someone on board who could easily fix a problem? You eyed the shuttle nervously, your fingers twitching as a pit formed in your belly. They were going to kill you... but that didn’t explain why that man made you pack- maybe to give you a false sense of security?

Rearranging multiple wires, you took the previously sparking one and stuck it straight into the furthest panel, the click sounding right. “Okay.” You huffed, grinding your palms into your knees as you stood up. “All done.” The two stormtroopers took you right inside the shuttle, sitting you down across from Jakquel, who was restrained by cuffs.

“It is all fixed, sir.” The tall man immediately signaled for takeoff, the engines roaring to life. You stared in worry toward Jakquel, who gave you a reassuring smile. He knew you wouldn’t have messed up- especially since your lives depended on it. As you sat there between thick, white armor, you fiddled your fingers on your knees. Would you be interrogated too? Did they just need you for this? You were certain they wouldn’t send you back home with a merry smile and a few words of thanks.

“You’re going to be fine.” Jakquel hissed from across the cockpit. “Just... don’t do anything stupid... stay away from him.” The last part was barely audible, his pupils sharing lividly toward the commander. The masked man paid no heed that he heard, so you nodded. That was probably common sense.

As you settled back, your eyes scanned the endless darkness of space, Stars twinkling brightly against the contrast. Many things whirled through your brain- too many possibilities. You then decided it would be best to submit.

You didn’t want to die.


	2. Determination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is called; We're Getting Straight to The Point I Guess (because I'm bad at building stuff up) 
> 
> You need to find Jakquel, but when Kylo Ren constantly gets in the way, how the hell did you expect this to end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "where's my father"  
> the role has switched- fight me Disney Pixar  
> (Also yeah I wrote TI instead of TIE like 10,000 times I'll fix that in the following chapters. Bear with me)

“We are going to reward you for being so... cooperative.” General Hux stood before you, pacing with his hands woven behind his back. “Reward me, sir?” You inquired. Your hands shook softly as your nerves twitched. The general raised an eyebrow at you, “you are to report to your new quarters promptly.” He stood taller, glaring at you with a mocking smile. “You are to replace our command shuttle’s engineer... I’m sure this will be enough to interest you.”   
  
Pale fingers slid an envelope in your direction. You stared at it with pure apprehension; your entire time in the Starkiller (two days) was spent in what you figured was a jail cell… and you haven’t seen Jakquel since landing. You swarmed the envelope in your hands, staring at it in silence before opening it. You were greeted with a room number and… holy fuck.

You basically choked on your own saliva, staring at the paper. You were going to be _paid_ for your work? Well… you weren’t expecting that- but the General was. Hux snorted, staring at you in plain disinterest. “You will arrive at the docking bay precisely at 0600 hours. You’re dismissed.” You looked up at him, nodding before scooting yourself out of the office. You shuffled out the doors and into a hallway, looking around like a lost puppy.

Well… how the fuck were you supposed to know where what was?

It took you an embarrassing amount of time to figure out where your room was; surprisingly not in the lowest halls of the ship. You hadn’t let the thought sink in- they were hiring you to work here? What could’ve happened to the last engineer? The room wasn’t very big- just accompanied with a small bathroom, an island with a sink, a cot, and the smallest dresser you could imagine stationed besides the taupe sheeting.

You placed your small bag of ‘luggage’ down on the island, raising an eyebrow- At least they bothered to supply a closet.

Your eyes closed, sinking against the wall. Although your nerves were exploding- perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad. If you stayed to yourself, you could survive working for the First Order. _Working for the First Order_ , you repeated in your head. The most dangerous place you could be; how could you expect to be safe?   
  
_Jakquel_.

You hurled yourself toward the door and out the hallway at the name, looking around wildly. You hadn’t seen him since you landed. Oh, if they did anything to him... Your teeth grit together. Your boots gracefully allowed you to stomp through the halls; no longer anxious you would be stopped and apprehended. No. You worked here now. These were _your_ halls.   
  
With a bitter snarl on your face, you rounded a corner. You had to pretend you knew where you were going- but in this huge place, where could Jakquel be? Did they kill him? That... Commander person... he spoke of interrogation- did he interrogate then kill your friend? Oh, that shit was going to get a piece of your mind! Jakquel raised you from nothing… gave you everything you needed. If he was murdered by some insecure, mask wearing little boy, you were going to explode.  
  
A sudden pulse of fire shot up your cerebellum, engulfing your brain in violating seeking. That pain again. Your body immediately doubled over on itself, a hand grasping the wall in support. The sound of heavy boots attacked from behind- someone was in a hurry. It took you awhile to turn, being met with the carbon mask from before. _Him_. The pain slowly hung in the air, “you’re angry.” He observed bluntly.   
  
Your hands balled together, narrowing your brows. “Where’s Jakquel, asshole?” A low growl sounded from your chest. He didn’t make an attempt to move. “It would be best to address me as who I am; Commander Kylo Ren.” You froze. _Of course_! How could you have not realized who the hell he was? Stories were whispered but never spoken in your home town… and he was right here, before you.“Alright, Commander Ren.” You said, voice full of ice. “Where. Is. My. Friend?”   
  
Kylo stood still for a solid ten seconds before angrily taking a step toward you. “You have an attitude.” He observed. “I don’t appreciate that...” The masked man shifted till you were pressed against the wall, his fists balled. “Your _friend_ proved to be nothing. His mind is blocked... he’s protecting you from something.” He sneered. “But what could that be?” You could feel his gaze pouring liquid holes through your skin- you shuddered.  
  
His hand came for your forehead, the splitting pain solidifying right back into your mind. A large cry came from your throat, unable to move against his wailing might- he was too close. Kylo wasn’t pressed against you, but he might as well have been. He was suffocating you under the close proximity. “What are you two hiding?” Kylo snarled. You whimpered in response, your fingers dragging into your thighs.   
  
You could feel him wrecking havoc in your mind, searching- finding. Reclining more into the wall, you tried pushing him away weakly-he stopped. “You... you have the same mind block. Strong.” He growled. “And... _familiar_.” The word left from his mask in pure fury. “I... I don’t k-know what you’re t-talking about.” You weren’t lying. As your eyes fluttered to meet that visor, a part of you bitterly wished you could see his face... some sort of reaction, emotion- not just the toxin in his voice.  
  
The other hand belonging to Kylo punched the wall beside your head- that was going to leave a dent. He was furious, but why? You couldn’t understand. Another razor sharp pain sunk through your head, causing more pitiful whines to leave your lips. You were convincing yourself he was going to actually kill you if he couldn’t get through what he needed to… But you didn’t know how to help- to get him his information- to stop this dreadful pain.  
  
You jerked your head away as his hand tried to rest on your forehead- your brain was on fire. You couldn’t take it anymore. Tears threatened to spill, “please...I don’t know what you want...” You felt pitiful, begging for him to stop. Kylo gently brought his hand away, the leather of his glove bawling as his fingers twisted into a fist. “What I _want_ is for you to cooperate.” Relief came in waves as the pain eventually left- but lingered.  
  
Kylo Ren took a step back, seemingly studying you under his intense gaze- although you couldn’t see his damn face. You didn’t have much time to dwell before he swooped away, black robes flowing. “I _will_ find out what you’re hiding.” He growled as he stormed away. You watched, still pressing yourself against the wall in frustration. What the fuck could you possibly be hiding? _Must be delusional_.   
  
You took off in the other direction, wanting to avoid Kylo. It would be suitable if that was forever.   
  
Your stomach twisted in agony as you walked; was Jakquel okay? Where could he possibly be? You found yourself in front of your own room, a deep sigh escaping. Your palms leaned against the cold metal, heaving back a choking sob. You weren’t so sure you could handle all of this… it felt like your life was falling apart.

You were just a simple fucking engineer for God’s sake! Surely the First Order had thousands of better workers practically _begging_ to work for them- but maybe that’s why. You weren’t begging. This hadn’t been your decision, and that you and the First Order both knew if you ran, you would wind up dead. You placed your forehead against the hatch, escaping a whimper.

Before you could let any tears escape your eyes, you rubbed them furiously. No. You were not going to let that rat get to you. With another deep sigh, you turned back on your heels, determined to find Jakquel _today_. Absolutely nothing was going to stop you from that.

Your trek forward proved to be just another embarrassing amount of time attempting to find something in this huge place- two hours to be exact. You turned too many corners, too many awkward slide-ins with Stormtroppers- but bless your heart, you hadn’t ran into Kylo Ren again. You weren’t entirely sure how you would survive another run-in with the Commander.

You gave a silent prayer you wouldn’t be snuffed out when you tiptoed toward what you assumed were the Starkiller’s jail cells… interrogation cells? Oh, whatever.

Silence overcame you like a bullet, making you bite your lip- hard. Maybe a little too hard as you licked the crimson from your lips. “Jakquel?” You hissed toward the closed hatches. Nothing. The fear in your chest quickened as you moved, standing to glance into each door. Empty. Empty. Not Jakquel. Also not Jakquel. Empty. _What the fuck is that?_ Until… “Jakquel!” You cried out, clasping a hand over your mouth at the sudden realization you were too loud.

Being met with the eyes of your friend shot your heart straight down to your stomach… he looked terrible. You whimpered as you opened the door, skidding to your knees toward him. Your name fell loosely from his bruised lips, his eyes weak and scared. “You can’t be here.” He wheezed. “Oh… What did they do to you, Jakquel?” A salty tear ran down your face as you placed your hands on your knees; he was beaten up, bruised… and for what?

Jakquel repeated himself again, “You can’t be here. You need to leave… get out of here… Find a remote place where they can’t find you.” At this point he was leaning up against the walls, hands gripping your shoulders harshly. “I can’t… They know I’m hiding something.” _Hiding something_? You furrowed your brows in confusion, fear striking your heart once again. “He will break me. It’s only a matter of time. You can’t be around when that happens.”

“What are you hiding?” You pressed. Jakquel cornered himself again, his eyes wild in fear; you’ve never seen him like this before- it pulled your heartstrings. “Jakquel, please… You can trust me.” You smiled weakly. You felt pity. This man was never anything but strong and seeing him so beaten and vulnerable brought another onslaught of tears.

And yet against your pestering, your friend still strayed away, shaking his head bitterly. “It’s not that… I can’t… Please, you need to leave this place.” Before he could push you away, you grabbed his wrist a little harder than intended, “No. I refuse to leave without you… Not after everything you’ve done.” His eyes pleaded with you; but this was a mess. You didn’t understand _anything_. You were just a simple engineer, working with your unofficial adopted father. Nothing was odd about that, surely?

The silence overcame the both of you once again, the worry washing off you like a heat wave. “Why is all of this happening, Jakquel?” You whimpered. You couldn’t piece together this puzzle alone, scared. “I need you to tell me… Maybe I can help you.” At that, your name rolled from his lips in a bitter, coughing laugh. Jakquel sat there, staring at you helplessly.”I’m sorry…”

Now it was your turn to force out a laugh, shaking your head. “Dude, I’m sure it’s not your fault…” You trailed off as your name left his lips again, taking the time to glance over your shoulder. “Maybe we can escape together, ya’know?” He said your name more urgently, but your eyes fluttered to the wall behind him. “We just have to sneak around… Might take awhile but we can do it” Jakquel grabbed you, throwing you against the wall behind him with a sudden burst of strength. “Jakquel!?” You growled- freezing.

Jakquel’s eyes flared with fear, a hand twitching up to his skull. You didn’t feel it this time- the intense roaring of fire. Instead, you heard him before you saw him, boots slamming on the floor as he approached. “Stay behind me.”

Kylo Ren rounded the corner, his robes flowing in pure fury as his gloved hand shot out from his cape. Jakquel flew into the wall, grasping the invisible hand around his throat. The yelp that wanted to sound from your throat stayed in fear of receiving the same fate, battering yourself against the opposing wall. “I know you two are hiding something important.” He stated electronically. “D-do what you want with me… but l-leave her alone.” Jakquel growled, trying to find the air to aid his vocals.

The leathered hand seized at his head, your friend reeling in spitting pain. “You’re weak. Too weak to fight me.” Kylo sneered. You tried to mold yourself into the wall, whimpering hard; you were no match for the Commander. You had to sit there and watch Jakquel’s mind breaking- slithering out to Kylo’s. Your friend struggled as much as he could against the Force User. The heart beats in the room were all you could hear, Jakquel’s face inching to look at you, “ _run_.”

You bolted for the door, not entirely sure why you were running- but you did- although you didn’t get too far. The unexcused leather hand grabbed you by the throat, smashing you down to the floor. Kylo’s knee dug into your hip, leaving you gasping for air. Your eyes met the visor of Kylo’s mask, “get off me.” You growled. “Not so fast.” His mask moved to glare at Jakquel, “we can spend the whole day here- I don’t care.” You struggled against his strength, wiggling around pathetically. Before another disgruntled breath could leave your lungs, the hand holding the force to Jakquel pirated straight to your head.

The familiar pain crept through your brain, this time twice as intense. Your face painted itself red as you struggled to breathe, gripping the arm choking you- well this wasn’t how you imagined being choked out. The fingers squeezed harder. Screeching pain seeped through every corner of your mind, before a growl left the amplifier of Kylo’s mask, Jakquel’s voice shaky from behind. “She doesn’t remember what you’re looking for.” From your current position, you couldn’t see your friend- which caused you to thrash harder. “Erased memory?” Kylo mumbled.

“I fell.” You whimpered, still wrestling against his hands. You could feel the leather shift from your neck- still tight- but enough for your voice to be understood. “I can’t… remember. I was in a _coma_ … but I don’t remember… I d-don’t know what you’re looking for.” You pleaded. The mask cocked to the side, “everything you’re looking for is within that barrier… Your friend’s mind proved that.” Jakquel cursed lowly, bawling his fists in anguish.

Were you going to die? You needed some proof he wasn’t going to kill you- but your screaming heart told you to fight. “Leave my head alone!” You screamed. Hands flailed at his outstretched arm, punching and swiping. Kylo didn’t even flinch against your puny attempts.

Kylo was silent. Your nerves continued to pierce and pinch, fingers digging into his strong bicep. With a snarl, his hand found its rightful place harder against your throat, the pain exploding in your brain. With a scream, you struggled pitifully, tears running warm down your paling cheeks. Black clothed the tunnel vision growing, your lungs desperate for air. You could feel every memory being consumed greedily, searching- ruining. You continued to panic before your body started to calm, giving in to his appraisal.

You could faintly hear Jakquel hissing your name- he was too weak to save you. _You_ were too weak to save yourself. As your eyes threatened to blacken themselves out, you met the supposed gaze of Kylo Ren through his visor- silently begging for him to stop. You didn’t expect him to- and you were right. He lowered his masked face toward you, his hands shaking in anger. You felt yourself slip into unconsciousness,

“ ** _How do you know Luke Skywalker_**?”


	3. Foreign Concept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares & bruises- what more could you get? To your surprise, you make a new friend, and a new journey to a new planet. New must be the word for today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, when you have no other options I guess... touch yourself?  
> There's some nsfw... not with Kylo (yet) but I want like 40% smut and 60% plot. We'll see how that goes

You woke for the third night in a row with a gasp, chills curling down your spine, sweat slipping from your pores like water. Your nightmares had no true meaning, just screams, murder, and _agony_. Your dreams were painted red; the bitter stench of blood suffocating you till you couldn’t breathe. Fingers laced gentle motions across the bruise on your neck, cascading a deep purple that was just beginning to fade to a sickening yellow.

A benevolent sigh left your lips, your hand leaving to place a gentle tap on your datapad- it was given to you your first day. Your boss explained how without the command shuttle in high demand for the time being, a quick checkup was all that really needed to be done- you were welcomed to assist with the TIE fighters, or any squared away business that hadn’t been attended to. Basically, you weren’t needed as much as you first thought.

Your eyes flickered at the time, the night still seeping in through the base. Just enough time to shower these thoughts away. With painful grace you crawled from your warm spot, your skin creeping with goosebumps as your naked feet walked the floor.  Once you landed over the sweet sin of warmth in your bathroom, your fingers fumbled with the temperature of the water, clothes discarded slowly.

The descend toward the water droplets felt like an uncharted gift to your grimy skin, the water offering solitude from your aching muscles. You lolled your head back so the water could run down your face, trickling down your skin silently. An uneven sigh left your lips as you started to rub cool circles into your neck; turning red as you pressed harder, rubbed faster, the desperation for the bruise to leave causing panic in your trembling hands.

Your tears melted with the water as you gave up, holding yourself against the croaking sobs. You cried for Jakquel, the planet left behind; but not for yourself.

Your darkened hair clung to your face as your hands squeezed your sides in self-reassurance. You were going to be fine… at least that’s what you had to continue to tell yourself. The water ended solemnly, your feet leading you out into the humid bathroom. You were quick to dry your hair, combing it out with a lot less enthusiasm as normal. Your body formed with your work suit, buttons cooperating for once before you stepped out with less than a glance at yourself.

The boots slipped on with ease, your hands grasping at the datapad to lie on your side before rushing yourself out the door all in one fluid movement. You kept to yourself as you walked down the dark hallways, head held high; a turtle neck still concealing your bruise.

Eyes scattered nervously as you cornered each wing, knuckles turning white at the hold on your datapad. You let out a loud sigh of relief as the view of the bay came in view, your feet skidding as you took a faster pace. You already wanted today to be over with so you could crawl back into bed.

“Vanis, sir.” You stood before your boss, his brown eyes lazily looking toward you with a cracked smile. So far, you didn’t mind your superior; he was kind when it counted, at least. “Ah, there ya are, kid. Same old today.” You nodded in response, hustling yourself over to a box where you sat, turning on your datapad to browse. _No messages_.  

You grumbled to yourself, sighing as you straightened your back. What were you to do for the next few hours? Sit on a box?

Your eyes watched the other engineers working sluggishly; it was slow today. You locked on to a fellow female engineer attempting to dislodge a _working_ panel from a TIE fighter.  A functioning panel. Well, it was definitely your time to shine. Without a moment’s hesitation you jogged over to the fighter, skidding to a stop by her side. “What are you doing?”

The female looked up at you with a jump, fingers thumbing nervously. “O-oh! I uhm….” She looked toward the open lock, “I’m not sure?” You gave her a pathetic look, shaking your head, “you’re not sure? How were you even hired?” You weren’t aware of how sharp your words were until she leaned away, sweat forming at her brow. You sighed, “sorry. I just… here, let me.” You knelt beside her, taking the panel from her palms with ease. “What’s wrong with the ship?” You asked as you placed the foreign object back where it belonged. “Uh… Vic said the thermal heater was down…” _Vic? Who the fuck was Vic_? Figuring it was a fellow employee, you nodded to her. “Okay. Thermal heater is down; what do we do next?”

The woman looked from the ship to you, brows furrowed in worry. “You check the panel belonging to the thermal heater… which is what I was doing; I think.” She pursued her lips in a pout. You gave a short nod, “you were five seconds from dislodging the wires connecting it to the main system. You have to be very gentle with panels; it’s too easy to rip them out if you’re not careful. Your approach was correct because…” you pointed toward one of the wires, splitting where it was plugged in.

“I knew it!” She beamed in victory, hands going to once again, rip it out. “Heeeey, woah. Slow down there.” You laughed awkwardly, going into your utility belt. “A heater isn’t the most important thing in the universe, and ripping it out would call for rewiring that whole setting. Do you have another thermal gearing on hand?” Looking almost completely lost, she shook her curly hair. “Okay. So the best method for an easy fix is electrical tape.”

You pulled the dark mold from your belt, smiling loosely as you handed the roll to her. “Wow, that’s super simple!” She laughed, taking it gently from your grasp. “The name’s Demaia Prower. Who’re you?” She flashed you a toothy grin, already going to wrap the tape around the fraying wire. You gave her your name, nodding along to her actions. “Thanks, then. I owe you one.”

Once finished, Demaia leaned back, handing you your tape with another smile. “I’ve only just seen you around here,” she started before you could escape. You stayed crouched, raising an eyebrow curiously. “You’re new here, huh? You know so much… like you’ve worked here for _years_!” At the commotion, you rubbed the back of your head, a nervous laugh rumbling from your throat. “Yeah, I’m new alright.” You groaned. “Been in the field for awhile, I guess… but new to the Starkiller and the First Order? Oh yeah.” She giggled at you, causing a nervous blush to creep up your face.

“Well welcome to the gang, then. I’m sure I’ll need you around after today…” Demaia glanced into the panel, finally going to close it to finish off the job. You offered another smile before standing, leaning backwards to crack your spine with a gruff. Demaia stood up with you, stretching with you as well, showing off her height- not much taller than you but… taller.

Demaia gave you a once over, placing her hands on her hips with a sigh. “Not much to do today, huh? Not always like this, by the way.” She grumbled, glancing around the studious bay. “Good to know. I’ll take note of that.” You sighed, following her eyes around. You weren’t much for conversation today.

As always, the day passed by smoothly, no altercations and nothing much to do beside entertain yourself. You found the energetic composure of Demaia’s company soothing- something you needed. Friendship wasn’t a word that came to mind when you were thrown into the workload of the First Order; but it was that _something_ you decided to cherish. Maybe she could succeed in keeping you sane.

The work day came to an end, your fellow engineers or stormtroppers plopping in or out at a slower pace, altering you that it was time to grab something to eat. You stood to approach Demaia for dinner, smiling to yourself at the thought of not sitting alone for once. “Hey.” You stood on your heels, rocking back and forth awkwardly as you waited for a reply- nothing.

You pursed your lips, raising your eyebrows as you watched her disappear into the bottom of a TIE fighter, clearly too immersed in her work to realize you had said anything. With a sigh you set your pace away from your new friend and the ship bay, toward the cafeteria. Your shoulders slumped, head tilted toward the floor as you dragged yourself down the maze of dark hallways. The dose of boredom you were handed today successfully exploded in your chest as, instead of continuing your trek toward the cafeteria, you swung a sharp left down a different hallway.

_I have rations in my drawer… I don’t want to be in these hallways anymore than I have to_. You reasoned to yourself- you didn’t want anyone bothersome ruining your evening; like that dull humming in the back of your head. It wasn’t consistent, but you knew who it belonged to. You voided any possible thought, voided anything that could make him show up again.

And so far, he hasn’t. Not since that night- your hand grazed the turtle neck hiding the bruise from his hand. You let a long sigh escape from your lungs. And since then, you hadn’t even bothered to think of how _you_ could possibly know the legend Luke Skywalker.

Instead of letting any thought linger on that treasured name, you thought about what you would eat tonight. It wasn’t the brightest idea to eat your rations when you could eat the First Order’s slop… you felt your stomach tighten in repeal. Going from the most enjoyable day on the Starkiller thus far, to struggling to reach your room, made you feel tired and worn. The worst part about all of this was you still didn’t know what happened to Jakquel.

God, you just wanted to eat something.

You preoccupied your mind with fickle thoughts of your home life; specifically eating Jakquel’s homemade chili. Your stomach whined in protest as you clicked in your password, the hatch to your room hissing open. Warm heat… cheese… you could basically moan at how badly you wanted something that wasn’t gray slop. Moving through your chamber, more or less, you let your fingers slide along the monotone walls, feeling the texture lopsidedly in your mind.

As you opened your rations, you let your mind wander- your first problematic fix, the way Jakku’s sandy plains felt beneath your feet… the warmth. Here it was unbearably cold. You leaned against the island, fingers tapping against the tile as your eyes closed. The muffin reminded you of the intense heat you had felt for years of your life as your hand grabbed at it needingly, your stomach agreeing with your choice of food.

You were certain your stomach couldn’t handle another session of the First Order’s shit.

The buzzing in the back of your head hadn’t ceased; maybe the damn man was taking notes, watching you like a zoo animal. You tried everything in the book to get him out of your head and usually, screaming worked the best. But as the headache eventually seeped in, the buzzing hadn’t stopped. That made you growl in frustration; your lack of privacy was being evaded without your consent.

“What the fuck.” You groaned, throwing yourself onto the bed. You hugged the pillow, digging your face into the fluffy fabric with a muffled scream. You wanted him out; but Kylo wasn’t going anywhere it seemed. _I like my privacy, okay? I would appreciate it if you’d fuck off_. You thought bitterly. As expected, nothing. With a mischievous smirk, you decided on a different approach.

_Okay, Mister Kylo Ren. You leave me no other options._ You mocked gingerly in the back of your head, rolling over so you were lying on your back.

You felt the flush of embarrassment wash over your face as your hand slide down your stomach, relaxing yourself back into the bed. Surely he was aware of what you had planned… _in your head_. You decided to leave your hand hovering underneath your belly button, switching to the mind tricks. Your imagination soared, the deep kiss of plush lips, hands venturing and squeezing. Even Kylo Ren would get flustered and leave… right?

The thoughts ravaged a deep, needy sigh from your lungs, your head lolling back as the hand decided to venture further down. It had been way too long since you filled any sexual need, and your body accepted the new euphoria. You didn’t think gentle thoughts, no; you imagined all the dirty things anyone could possibly give you, causing soft moans to leave your lips. New, you thought, but extremities usually creeped people out.

But the humming in the back of your head only faltered for a second; you didn’t expect your audience to stay. In fact, the thought alone seemed to make your body hotter- needier. _An audience_. That was an unexpected turn on.

You whined gently, your hand working at your cunt harder. One finger slipped inside, fingering exactly where you needed to feel. The thought of being filled up to the brim sent a pre-orgasm spasm through your lower belly. Just as an overwhelming whimper of pleasure threatened to spill, the uncomfortable buzzing in your head ceased.

Your body relaxed; you weren’t aware you were so tense. With a smooth sigh, you returned to pleasing yourself, your lips parted with heavy breathing. You were so close…

**_BEEP BEEP BEEP_ **

You catapulted yourself straight off the bed, your back connecting with the cold floor. “What the **fuck**!?” Your datapad was going off with an alert; an emergency. With an impassive groan you rose from your mishap on the floor, your hand moving to massage what you could of your back. What could they possibly want from you at this hour? You were off for the day.

With a grumble of frustration you situated through the datapad for the alert message. “You are to report to the flight bay _immediately_.” You mumbled out loud, the disgust rolling off your lips. “What? I can’t have a moment to myself?” Digging the datapad into your side, you strut straight back out into the hallway like nobody’s business.

Well, it _was_ your business now.

You followed the woven hallways to where you were just an hour ago. An hour, for fuck’s sake! They better not expect you to be up at normal times tomorrow; you needed your beauty sleep.

As the hatch opened, you felt your breath hitch at the bodies that stood, towering over you easily- even from the distance. General Hux stood with the commander, his booming darkness seeping to choke you again. Unconsciously you cradled your concealed neck as you nervously waltzed over. “Sir,” you saluted respectfully to both. When Kylo’s visor turned toward you, you felt the red stain your face; he knew what you had been up to. If you could just die here…

“Ah, there you are.” General Hux snorted, looking up and down your form. “You are to accompany the Command Shuttle to and from Takodana for the next few days.” The ginger stated bluntly, his hands still tight around his back. Expected from a high ranking general, you figured. Your hands slanted down your body, standing straight; expected from a lowly engineer. “O-okay… may I ask why… sir?” You choked out. Your voices sounded foreign… when were you ever considered lower than someone else? Where had your pride gone? (Beside out the door. They could kill you with a simple flick of a finger.)

Hux rounded on you, his chest rising and falling with ease. “To make sure the shuttle gets here and back safely. You are to stay out of the way and fix any problems that arise.” He stopped pacing around you to glare from the corner of his eyes, “you are to leave now.” _Now_? You used every nerve in your body to suppress your eye-rolling groan. “Yes, sir.”

The general turned toward Kylo, the two having a stare off before he took off, his stride long and controlled. You sighed, clasping your hands together as you stared at the ground. _Do not make eye contact. He knew you were masturbating like, 10 minutes ago_. “Let’s go.” The modulator spoke, his cloak dramatically swaying behind him.

You clicked your tongue, following behind and into the shuttle. When you sat down, you sat far away from Kylo; who was apparently the pilot during this endeavor. As he started to press buttons, you glanced toward the closing ramp- oh god. You were going to be alone with him? Fear and anxiety pierced at your heart, your hands fidgeting with each other. When the engine roared to life, it was quick to blast off into space, various other shuttles following.

The ride smoothed itself out, relieving some of your anxiety. You could take care of yourself- even against Kylo Ren.

“You know I haven’t forgotten.” You jumped at his sudden words, staring at the back of his hood. “Forgotten what?” Kylo didn’t move from the pilot’s chair, seemingly losing himself in all the shining stars. Please don’t say 10 minutes ago. Please don’t say 10 minutes ago. The commander shifted in his seat, “our skirmish the other night. I’ve spoken to Supreme Leader Snoke.” He snarled. Your heart plummeted down, down through the floor to float in space forever.

Alright. Maybe you’d be more okay if he mentioned he was peeking at your mind while you touched yourself.

“S-supreme leader Snoke?” You squeaked. Now _he_ was a terrifying thought. Kylo now stood up from his seat, his heavy steps vibrating off the shuttle’s walls as he rounded on you. “What do you know of the Force?” Kylo questioned. You were taken back, staring at him in angry confusion. “The Force?” You spat. Well, what _did_ you know of the Force? Giving him an attitude without an answer would probably end with you decapitated. “It’s in everyone and everything… but that’s about it. I’m just an engineer, man, how should I know?” You swallowed hard, keeping the stare through his mask. You could hear him sneer, or maybe mockingly laugh, from beneath the carbon. “Just an engineer you say? No… Supreme Leader Snoke thinks different.”

“Well what the fuck does he know?” You blurted out before you could censor yourself. Damn, you should really work on that. The black mass’s biceps twitched, his hands curling into fidgeting fists. “When we return, you will accompany me to a meeting.” Kylo stood straighter, ignoring your statement and the question all together- you could feel his harsh gaze burning into you. “And I suggest watching that attitude of yours.” He growled, turning to return to his previous position.

You sat there aloof, watching him out of the corner of your eyes. You tsked, crossing your legs as you made yourself comfortable. Fuck Snoke, General Hux, and fuck Kylo Ren. Why the hell were you going to Takodana anyway?

 


	4. The Barbaric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takodana turned out to be a complete bust, but hey- at least you finally realized the nefarious needs of the Supreme Leader.
> 
> You. 
> 
> (& Kylo but really that's not the point)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha I actually really like how this turned out? I'm so excited to throw it at everyone :'^)  
> (I know I mention the ghost of Luke but he's not dead yet so--)

Angry blasts from several blasters ricocheted off the command shuttle; whether on purpose or not, you weren’t sure… but you were starting to worry about exploding along with the shuttle.

 The beautiful, green planet of Takodana had you close to tears when you first arrived, bouncing to the pilot’s view of things. You hadn’t cared that Kylo Ren was probably close to killing you for the sudden bout of closeness; you were in greenery again… the concept of again had you confused for a second, but you were too excited to care.

The planet was full of lavish trees of mahogany brown, reaching up to branch into delicate greens. There were rivers and bountiful amounts of lakes; sincere quiet and peacefulness- the opposite of Jakku. You were suddenly ecstatic to be on Takodana. Were you going to explore? Maybe find some hidden Jedi treasure? When you landed, your ears caught the ringing of blasters and scuffling, your heart sinking once again. _Of course_.

The First Order were always getting into petty altercations. You weren’t going to ever enjoy yourself associated with sith wanna-be’s.

And now you were cursing his name for leaving you in the command shuttle with no form of weaponry. You huddled yourself in a corner, fidgeting at your uniform. If the commander doesn’t arrive here soon, you made a mental note that you would probably die. “I’m going to rip him to shreds when I see his stupid masked face.”

A particularly loud shot hit above your head from the outside, causing you to yelp. “Oh, that is it!” You snarled, bolting out from your sitting position on the floor. You skidded down the ramp, sliding down against a fallen stormtrooper to lie beside him. “Sorry about this, buddy.” Snagging the blaster from his limp hand, you crouched back up.

You aimed for anyone you didn’t recognize; so anyone that wasn’t Kylo Ren or a stormtrooper. Easy enough, right? After a few shots, you watched two or three enemies fall, hit by your marksmanship. You smirked to yourself, this wasn’t so bad. You examined the blaster in hand, humming in appreciation before you aimed to shoot anything that wasn’t bulky and white.

A messy and big shot sounded a few feet from you, debris flying in the air along with two stormtroopers. You quickly estimated where it came from; an old man hiding behind one of the crippling towers along with… “is that a fucking wookie?” You blurted. You sat there for a moment just… staring, before you rolled away from the shot followed by the grayed man.

Your side hit a large, fallen column from the previously high tower, the breath fumbling from your lungs. A sudden flame of agony soared up from your thigh, your hands already going to apply pressure. If you had moved a millisecond sooner, he would have missed completely; but he had just grazed the side of your left leg. It wasn’t bad, you concluded, but it still hurt like a bitch.

Oh, you were going to kill that man for abandoning you in that shuttle. Maybe you’d blow it up and strand him… run away and live in solitude… Give him both your middle fingers and a tongue as you pranced away…

Your chest heaved with rage, your fingers digging abrasions into the dirt below. Cowering in the corner; Jakquel would’ve ridiculed you for this. You grit your teeth together, a low growl sounding. _I’m not weak_. You crouched up, resting your arm on the broken column as you aimed, blaster going off erratically.

You felt something stir in your heart- something pure and unfiltered, untouched by the anger currently flowing through your veins. You weren’t sure yet how to identify the feeling, but you settled on freedom. Ever since your supine run in with the First Order and their idiot, high ranking officers, you hadn’t an ounce of sovereignty. It made you _livid_. You went from owning your own world, to having to give it all up for some bullshit job that you really didn’t need.

This was completely different from what you were used to. You were jumping over previously high standing towers, shooting off a dead stormtrooper’s blaster at anything that moved. It was simply chimerical. A week ago you were laid back, having a drink, and now… well, you just shot a guy’s head off. You hobbled over another fallen column as a shot roared your way, barley escaping the heat. “Shit.” You panted.

As the shooting slowly ceased, you peeked over the cement; the stormtroopers now surrounded three beings- that dumb old man that shot you, that fucking wookie and… well, you didn’t know who the other guy was. Deeming yourself victorious, you rose from your hiding spot, smirking at the three. You stepped over the large, broken column, blaster in hand.

**_Pew pew pew_**! Each stormtrooper ran or fell, succumbed to the resistance fighters that now flew through the air. With a yelp you hoppled over your hiding spot, staying close to the ground- perhaps they didn’t know you were with the First Order. Well, that was better for you. Any stormtrooper that moved were probably shot down by now- unless they were sly enough to play dead.

You didn’t have enough time to care; the heavy presence of the familiar black mass was looming near. You jumped up, rushing over to the ramp- you knew he saw you, but you could at least pretend for now. When Kylo Ren boarded ship, he was followed by two stormtroopers, a young lady in the tall man’s arms.

You sneered, recognizing the outfit- a Jakku scavenger? He must’ve felt your reaction, as his visor turned to pierce your skin with his eyes. “What did I say about staying put?”

Kylo’s gloved fingers worked the ship’s buttons, making it quick to soar into the blue skies. Your eyes glanced down toward the blood stain on your clothed thigh, shrugging facetiously. “What do you have with kidnapping Jakku women?” You snorted. You jumped as he threw a fist into the wall, his body turning tightly toward you; but he didn’t move. You weren’t going to be intimidated by him anymore.

“You are incompetent. Vexatious.” The commander snarled, the modulator quaking and electrifying his voice. “A nuisance to me and the First Order. Why do you insist on being a hindrance?” Kylo’s voice gave nothing but anger. Was he always so easy to piss off? You swallowed hard, sitting up straight against the cold metal of the shuttle. “Because I do not owe you or the First Order shit. You took me from my home, terrorized my father _and_ you get to sit back and watch behind that mask like a fucking coward!”

You reeled back, realizing your words a little too late. Kylo was already storming his way over, one hand outstretched toward the two innocent stormtroopers, snapping their neck in a sickening easy way. No onlookers for your death, huh? What a shame.

The leather came to grab your neck, smashing you against the wall so you were nose to nose with his concealed face. “What was that?” He started, his voice shaking with anger, “I couldn’t hear you, **speak louder**.” His fingers tightened against your throat, your feet kicking, trying to find the floor but to no avail.

When you tried to speak, your throat only offered a croak. An obnoxiously loud snicker came from Kylo, his visor still inches from your struggling face.

“If tomorrow goes as planned, I’m going to _ruin_ you.”

Kylo’s hand left your throat, your body falling to the ship’s floor as hands went to grip the exposed skin, your lungs gulping in air. You stole the chance to look up at him, eyes wide in fear and… _concupiscent_. You were quick to shake your head- he hadn’t meant it that way, and you weren’t sure you wanted him to have. He was going to torture you, surely. The commander turned on his boots, stalking back to the pilot center without another word.

You cradled your neck where you still sat on the floor, staring at the blood stain across your thigh. Finally, you glanced across to where the girl lay unconscious. For one reason or another, you were sure her fate was not the same as yours currently was… but in some way, you feared for her more than yourself.

11:09

You sat alone on the far side of a cafeteria table, miscellaneous workers of different backgrounds sitting and conversing silently. The green slop of oatmeal you had chosen was half consumed, the other half twirling around grossly by your spoon. When you had first spotted the green, your thoughts immediately bounced back to a delicacy of a particular green fruit back from Jakku, your mouth watering at the thought.

Unfortunately for you, it was not what you had hoped for.

 You hadn’t slept in over 24 hours, your mind drained and your body ached. When you arrived, a droid went quick to apply bandages and a stitch or two to your laceration; but you just needed busy work. Even your boss turned you away. “Direct orders from the General, kid. Sorry.” He had said, apathetic in his words. So you did anything you could to stay awake, from roaming the halls to attempting to quench the rumbling of your belly.

Your datapad was set neatly next to your bowl of green shit, your eyes wavering over it throughout the day for that message. And every time you did, his words rang through your head; _I’m going to ruin you_. And every time it did, you had to pick it a part piece by piece, wondering why it sent a pool of warmth through your lower belly. At the end of the day, you had a feeling it meant he was going to literally kill you.

Deciding it was time to explore again, you stood up, holding the device against your side as you threw the oatmeal away. They needed to hire a new cook… or stop ordering from backshops.

Just as you swiveled the corner to experiment what you could get away with today, you were met way too close with the puffed out chest of your general. “G-general Hux!” You squeaked, training yourself to get into salute position. (Without the actual salute)

His wild face betrayed his laid back yet tight stance, his eyes washing over you with what you figured was pure disgust. “I was just looking for you. You are needed by Supreme Leader Snoke.” _Oh fuck_. You swallowed hard, finding your fingers fidgeting with your new pants; you had changed out of your uniform into something more comfortable. A pair of tight black pants, a bulky belt, and a loose fitting, cold shoulder top. Dark and suave.

Before you had a chance to rebel, Hux was already on his heels, leaving you to prance after him. You swallowed back a wad of fear as you neared your destination, sweat seeping from your pores. Wow, you really wish you didn’t suddenly smell now. What kind of first impression would that give? But… why did you even care?

General Hux hadn’t spoken a word the whole trip- as you figured. His hands were perfectly held behind his back, his posture straight and unmoving beside his waltz. You felt like a mess compared to his stature. “We are here.” He spoke bluntly, moving aside as a large hatch creaked open, hissing fumes in the process. When you peeked inside, you saw him, large and holographic. He was speaking to who you instantly recognized as Kylo Ren.

Fuck, you couldn’t escape that man no matter how hard you tried.

You took a step inside, the door shutting fast behind you. _Oh fuck, I’m going to die. I didn’t even get to spray paint Jakquel’s favorite antique TIE fighter with obnoxious pinks! Fuck fuck fuck fuuuuck_. Your mind was on overdrive as you inched forward, your stride unsure and dreadful. Snoke was huge, his hologram hued sickening grays and blues, face misshaped and beady eyes… oh **shit** they were staring right at you.

“Ah, the woman of the hour.” He purred, voice raspy and old. Your lips twitched as you stopped beside Kylo, for once in your life finding something close to comfort beside his tall demeanor. He, however, made no acknowledgement of your arrival. The hologram dipped closer, looking you up and down with a wide-eyed smile. “Do not be afraid.”

You itched back the retort that threatened to spill, instead nodding to his words. Your hands were tightly knuckled together at your belly, keeping together the shaking. “I’m sure Commander Ren spoke of why you are here.” Snoke glanced toward Kylo, who didn’t make any indication of agreement or otherwise. “Uh… kind of?” You croaked. His eyes were back on you, smacking his thin lips together in thought. “You’ve heard the question once before, but I will repeat it: How do you know Luke Skywalker, young one?”

_That question again_?

You thought for a second, trying to wrap your brain around why they figured you knew the legend. “I don’t.” You stated plainly. You weren’t lying, but the supreme leader’s eyes narrowed. “It appears he has blocked her mind from remembering… it is strong; even I couldn’t get through it enough.” The mechanical voice spoke beside you. “Wait… what?” You blurted, fists bawling as you looked between them. “That’s not possible! You’ve gotta be mistaken.”

Kylo’s face turned to glare at you, Snoke’s laugh booming around the dark room. “Mistaken? **_You’ve_** been deceived.” He hissed. You stared helplessly up at the hologram, “you believe that a year of your life had been taken from you due to a fall?” Snoke continued. “It is all chicanery,” his ugly, wrinkly hand rose from the depth, fingers curling; you were being lifted. “I will prove it to you.”

His words hung flat as you were lifted a good eight feet in the air, your hands powerlessly flailing. Just as you realized you weren’t going to fall, you felt that similar humming but this time… different. It didn’t belong to Kylo Ren. The pain shot through your body like a blaster, your body contorting against the force that held you. “ _Give it to me_.” Snoke snarled, his eyes widening. You were quick to press against the infiltrating need for something you didn’t believe was there; the memories of Skywalker.

You screamed in pain, fighting against the Force all you could. Your mind was blank beside the painful vibration seeking your brain. You could feel your face burning red, knuckles turning white before you felt your mind break…

\--

_…Fields of green flickered, grasses intricate and pure. Waves crisp and blue crashed against billowing cliff-sides, dark with the mold of dirt and life. “Spirituality.” The words that left your lips were soft, a whisper amongst the peaceful breeze. “The life line of all things… beauty.” Smooth images transpired through your tranquil mind; a mother, sore with fulfillment and lavished love. A newborn, suckling, skin soft and new against the worn skin of its mother. The call of an anxious chick, moving around the barricaded nest, calling for her family. “Life… the purest form.” A soft wind of white cleared your thoughts, washed out to  pastel colors flowing together. “All things good in this world… a sign that peace is still nestled within this universe.” Your eyes were closed in meditation, legs crossed, hands clasped together against the rich atmosphere. A man sat across from you, his green eyes soft as he watched you with pride. “What else?” He pegged. Your eyebrows knit together- a roaring storm, deep and billowing against the charcoal sky. Fire. Flames licked at the sky, threatening to engulf even the towering skies. “Anarchy.”_

_The flames curled together, spiraling into blackness. The mellow waves now hungrily crashed against the cliff-side, starving for devastation. The mother, a wreck against the darkness, crying out for her lost child. A family of birds screaming for their stolen children. “Death and sorrow… lives taken.” You croaked, your hands shaking. You could feel the emotions spilling into your heart, twisting and crushing the organ between teeth. “Fight it. Be the middle ground.” Your master spoke, his voice now harsh against your ears. With a concentrated frown you pushed the thoughts away, a vein pulsing through your temple. The black broke, cascading to a deep mauve gray. The standing grounds between good and evil. You exhaled deeply, your eyes fluttering open to meet the satisfaction of your mentor; Luke Skywalker. “You did good.” He praised your name, a soft smile on his lips. “Master… I… am I exceeding above the other padawans?” You mumbled. Luke’s face fell, confused as to why you felt the need to ask such a question. “Would an answer really fulfill anything? I know it’s hard… but your parents were strict when they directed me to keep you away from them.” You sighed again, looking away from him and into the variety of greenery. “I know…” was all you could say._

_\--_

_You heard the screams before you even woke from your slumber. The maliciousness that flowed through the air was hot on your skin as you rushed out into the night- bright fire. The flames licked at the small buildings, the world seemingly crashing around you. “Master Skywalker!?” You screamed, terror overcoming your senses. Who or what could have done such a thing? You were manic, running back and forth, trying to find any salvation or sign of life. You wouldn’t accept you were still the only living species on this planet; although it felt as such. Your lungs were starting to hum in need for extra air as you heaved crisped logs of a past home away from rumbled down embers, searching for someone- something. From behind you heard a labored breath speak your name, sorrow and hurt plain in the vibrations. You knew this voice. “Master Skywalker! You’re alright!” Your voice cracked, the tears fornicating in your eyes. When you met his stare, you froze. He was angry; but not at you. The wrinkles that were forming across his face were shallow, the grays wiring through his beard and hair. When had he become so old? “I’m sorry.” He whispered, his mechanical hand slow to rise from beneath his tattered cloak. “You’re sorry… for what?” You were suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of urgency to run- but you stayed put. “You can’t remember any of this… it’s for your own good.” Before you could fight, to beg him to explain, you were hit with the Force. It was a new pain, deep and solidifying, molding a home in your mind. Segments of your memories were slipping through your desperate attempts to maintain them. What was he doing!? With a last desperate and sad stare, the darkness caught up to you, the last thing being your master’s guilty face._

_“I **can’t** have it happen again.”_

_\--_

Your body was limp now, gravitating through the air by the Force of the supreme leader. He was quiet, the ‘ _o_ ’ formed across his lips spreading to a devilish smile. “You were there.” Kylo’s voice wasn’t describable past the distortation from his mask, but you could’ve sworn it was shock. Snoke’s chest erupted in laughter as he turned you to float straight upward, his face close to your exhausted stature- if you were any more attentive you could’ve sworn you could smell his vile breath. With a flick of his wrist you fell to your knees, elbows supporting your body as you gasped for air.

You whimpered as your knees smacked against the flooring, palms shaking heavily as you stared at them. Who were you?

“Do you believe me now?” He snarled, his hologram leaning back to stare at you from above. A drop of sweat dripped from your brow, your chest heaving in disbelief. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes; what was reality? What was _right_ anymore?

Your fingers curled into your palms, nails scratching. You wanted to scream. You were pissed off. “That’s right,” the words rolled off of the supreme leader’s tongue like butter, “focus on that anger. That _pure hate_.” He was provoking it and in any other instance you wouldn’t have succumbed… but this was new. You stood on your own accord, wiping the tears from your swollen face with a growl. How could any of this have happened? Your world… it was crashing again. “We are going to train you now. Luke Skywalker was afraid of another rising to my ranks… but he once again made the wrong decision.”

You looked up at Snoke’s hologram with a jaded stare, your stomach fluttering with anxiety. “However… I am changing the plans.” You could sense Kylo stiffen beside you. “I am going to have Captain Phasma start your training until your power truly awakens… then I will have the Commander take it on from there.” Snoke seemed pleased with his decision; leaning back into what you assumed was a chair of some sort.

Kylo’s fists were shaking, but he surprisingly kept his mouth shut. “I will have the General send you what you need to know by the end of the week. You will no longer attend to your engineering job… you now have something much larger to work for.” The supreme leader breathed, his beady eyes twitching. “You two are dismissed.”

You were quick to twirl around, walking faster than necessary past the hissing hatch and away from the room; you were running. Your chest was quaking under the excess of your mind, the energy roaring through your body as you passed down the hallways of the First Order’s domain. Your calves burned as you worked your body up multiple stair-cases, pushing past anyone that were unfortunate enough to be in your path.

Once you arrived to your numbered room, you were quick to slam your palm against the coded lock. You pressed what you thought was your password into your number pad, your fingers shaking intensely. It beeped wrong, and you punched the metal hard, yelling in frustration. “ ** _FUCK_**!”

You immediately silenced yourself at the sound of heavy footsteps, urgent and angry, coming toward you. You didn’t have to turn to know it was Commander Ren. The two of you stood in silence for awhile before he forced you to turn around, his hand pressed against the door beside your head. You leaned against the hatch, staring at him blankly. “What do you want?” You growled.

Kylo’s voice muffled past the mechanical mask. “You were there… you trained with Skywalker.” He stated the obvious. You curled your fists, feeling the poison rising through your veins. “Isn’t that a little obvious now?” You snarled. His unoccupied leather glove grabbed your chin, moving your face around slowly to examine it. Was he trying to uncover a memory of you? You never met the other padawans throughout your training… you could remember now.

It was becoming nothing new- like you hadn’t been forced to forget all these years. Memories of blooming flowers, laughter and warm bonfires surrounding you and Luke… the ghost of a man you had known.

You tried not to break from under his grip; your lip quivering as the thoughts came rushing back. His thumb lifted from the grip to smooth out your bottom lip, pressing against your teeth in a way you weren’t sure was as soothing as you body allowed it to be. “You are strong with the Force.” He observed. “Get the fuck away from me.” You spilled the words out loosely, trying to shove him away. Kylo pressed his body against your form, a growl coming from underneath. “You’re never going to cooperate, are you? Am I going to have to show you how to be a good girl?”

Freezing in his grasp, you weren’t mentally sure how to take his comment; your mind overly stimulated and fried from the recent events. I mean, how were you supposed to swallow all of this? With a grain of salt? You were quiet, the heat spreading from between your legs unwillingly. No, you couldn’t handle him switching the game-up from asshole to hunk.

“No. I’m fine without your guidance, thanks.” You pushed him hard enough to gain some leisure space, your fingers pressing your code in quickly. The door slid open, the familiar hiss sounding as you went to dash into your room. Firm hands grasped your hips hard, twirling you around to stare at the commander once more. “Who said you could leave? I’m not done with you.” He hissed, moving you into the room.

Your breath came short, the day becoming nothing but folly when Kylo fucking Ren hitched you against the wall, his hands gripping just underneath your ass. Your legs wrapped around his waist half out of instinct and half out of fear you would fall; you would like to avoid that again. “I knew there was something different about you,” he whispered, the cold of his mask breezing against your exposed neck. “But that doesn’t make you anything less than a _brat_.” Kylo growled.

You gasped when he fully pressed his torso against you, the hardness he presented pressed deep against the fabric covering your unexposed private. Your mind spinned; what the fuck was happening today? You kept down a whimper that wanted to escape as his hands gripped tighter, rubbing short circles into your skin. “Just because I will not be overseeing your training right now does not mean you can escape me.” Kylo snickered. “It would be wise not to disrespect me… next time I will not be so forgiving.” A hard slap to your thigh made you jump, the whimper escaping through.

Kylo laughed deeply, the mask concealing what he would actually sound like. If only… He dropped you, the warmth fading as he made his escape without a second look back. You stood there, watching the already closed hatch with wide eyes. You held yourself, the emotions clashing as you sobbed. “Oh… why the hell is this happening?” You whispered.

Forcing yourself to the comfort of your bed, you pondered the memories. It hurt, but everything felt as though it was back in place- you felt whole, in a sense. But Kylo… what could that have been? It was unexpected, but you couldn’t comprehend why; you just wondered if you should be scared or excited for your next run in, and what could come of your pass training from Luke Skywalker.


	5. Watch the Insults

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Phasma sure can kick ass... but Kylo Ren can save it. ;) 
> 
> (Idonttaketheseseriouslyanymoresaveme)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a silly little sketch of what I thought the outfit would look like; https://sta.sh/0vhkk2ik7ad
> 
> Annnd some nsfw because y'all are nasty and I can only comply. This is my first official.. sex.. scene...writing... stuff. So enjoy? :^) More memories to come... an eventual chapter might just be all from a memory? Who knows. I don't.

A day.

It only took the First Order a day for them to gather what you would be required to have- except a lightsaber. That made you incredibly upset. But you found your new outfit pretty fucking cool.

You sported a black, zippered shawl that tattered down to your upper waist, a long sleeved, tight fitting shirt that woven into fingerless gloves. A bulky, charcoal belt that sat awkwardly on your hips; your pants wasn’t tight around your thighs, but gave enough room for leverage and action. Your black combat boots were clipped up to just below your knee- now you were almost just as emo as Kylo Ren.

His name sent a shiver down your spine as you slipped into your clothing, eyes fluttering toward the hatch. You used every attempt necessary to forget his words- his touch. You swallowed hard as you clipped your heels against your calves, “he’s just an angry, horny boy who… who… is dumb.”

Yeah, that’ll teach him.

With a defeated sigh you stood, flattening any crinkles or wedges to distract your mind. You had spent lastnight fighting with your mind, trying to deny the memories that now swarmed your brain. You couldn’t hold back the emotions flooding you; these memories were justified facts of a time you previously couldn’t remember. You had _loved_ that time; training to be a padawan and learning from Luke Skywalker himself. The excitement… you could remember it, but couldn’t feel it the same way once again.

In fact, you were dreading the thought of training with Captain Phasma. Your stomach dropped as you sulked through the hallways. You could recall your training sessions with your Master- perhaps muscle memory would come into play and save your ass?

Your fingers flexed nervously as you left your room, eyes scanning the hallway left and right before moving through the corridors. You held your head high above the noise- what threat would you be if you sulked like a child? You weren’t doing this for Snoke… perhaps not even for Skywalker. This power, recognition, was for you. Awakening your memories also awoken the solid power of the Force; you could feel it flowing with every step you took.

You smirked to yourself- the Captian wasn’t Force sensitive… so you might possibly have the upper hand. You could remember how sly and flexible you were, and how your master always made proof of your abilities.

\--

_“Nothing will come from constant defense,” Luke spoke your name gently. “There will be times when you_ must _fight back. Do not hesitate.”  You leaned back to guard yourself against his green lightsaber, your blue saber spitting against his. “Master Skywalker, what if I hurt you?” You held against his might, your feet planted hard against the grass. A soft snort left his nose, giving you the look of amusement. “That’s what you’re worried about?” The force of his lightsaber left as he levied it to the side, swerving fast toward your waist. With a jump you twirled over it in a tight ball, your dominate hand jutting out in pure strength to catch your lightsaber at his feet once you landed. With ease your master jumped over the attempt, taking a few steps back to eye you. “That’s better… but not where I want you to be.”_

_You grit your teeth, “what if I do not wish to fight?” You held the lightsaber in two hands, still in defensive. Luke sighed, easing his body as his lightsaber evened down toward the ground. “I understand… but there will be times when you must protect the ones you hold dear to your heart. It is important to know everything there is to know… you do not need to use it if you do not believe in it.” “It’s not that.” You mumbled. Your fingers fumbled against your grip, eyeing the icy silver metal between your fingers. “You speak of an untamed power… I am afraid of it… I’m afraid I will hurt you.” You paused to glance across the emerald fields. “I have had no lure toward the dark side… yet I am still worried.” Your eyes met again with your Master, who appeared very calm. Maybe too calm? “There is no reason to worry. I would never have accepted your parents request if I hadn’t already seen your potential… bright and clear.”_

_A smile, small and gentle, crossed your young features. A teenager, hidden away from the bad of the universe… why had things gone the way they did?_

_With bright, unafraid eye, you lunged forward, ducking down to swivel your lightsaber up toward Skywalker. If your master believed there was nothing to fear, then there was indeed nothing to fear. With a dignified tilt of the wrist his lightsaber met yours, pushing it down into the ground. You circled it back, flying the roasted dirt and grass backward as you lunged back, the green sparks just missing the tip of your nose. With a spin you locked down to the ground, kicking your master out from under his feet. Luke bobbled backward, his lightsaber blocking a direct jab at his chest. “Much better.” He complimented. You gave your master a cocky smile, elevating your arms to twist up and around your body so you could dislodge your lightsaber from him. The two of you stopped, a look full of pride radiating off Luke Skywalker’s face._

_A look that was forever burned in your head._

\--

Your heart dropped as you neared where you would be training, fists curling together in anticipation. Once your fingers grazed the control pad in thought, the hatch flew open, causing you to jump out of fear. You were greeted by the supposed glares of a handful of stormtroopers and their Captain, standing in the middle of the room. _Oh shit… she’s not screwing around today_ , you thought as you stared toward her clad armor, gloved hand sporting two long metal rods. _She’s going to kill me with that_.

As soon as your boot landed within the vicinity, you felt him. Kylo’s presence was almost enough for you to turn and run back to your room; but you steadied on. You stared toward the captian’s helmet, deciding to make direct eye contact with her. “Welcome.” She greeted.

You forced yourself to smile, clearing your throat. “Hi.” You finally willed yourself to look around. The room was a fairly decent size with a blood-red mat under the captain’s feet. The stormtroopers, you figured, were there for if you decided to go awol. With a glance up, you froze, your eyes meeting the black fabric of the commander. He stood inches behind glass; was he observing you like an animal? You stopped a good five feet away from Phasma, ripping your vision from Kylo and refusing any memories of the night before.

He wasn’t going to ruin this for you.

“I prefer if we could get straight into this… no offense.” You gave a sideway glare toward the commander who didn’t make any attempt of acknowledgment. Phasma gave a curt nod, throwing you one of the metal rods. You snatched it from the air and without even thinking you placed your grip in the middle- duality.

You stepped up onto the cushioned mat, twirling the rod in your dominate hand to get a feel of the weight. “I expect nothing less than full force. I will not hold back, and neither will you.” Her modular did the same as Kylo Ren’s; made her sound like a machine. You could feel yourself slipping into an all too familiar defensive stance as she spoke, “wrong stance.” Before you could catch another breath she was on you, metal rod slamming into your stomach. Your feet faltered from under you, limping a few paces back to catch the air that was stolen from you. Your unoccupied hand grabbed at your aching skin as you dodged another jut.

With a hard roll you twirled up tightly, throwing your rod against the captian’s, creating intense tension. You realized very quickly she had the upper hand; maybe you shouldn’t kneel on the floor. With as much movement as a cat you swung left, missing the rod that smacked into the mat. You took this opportunity to remember your training; smack the back of her knee. Bring her down. If you could manage that, you could overpower her. Especially with her muscle and height.

You crouched, bunching your elbow together to hit the soft spot in between her armor. This was going to bring the giant down.

Without so much of a flick of your arm, you felt a hard smack of pain against your head. You went numb, face twitching in confusion as you fell to the mat. The realization hit you as your hand went to grip your skull, blood already staining your hair; she had made direct contact with your head. She **really** wasn’t fucking around. “Whatever you were taught before will be improvised. You are going to be expected to stand up and fight after a silly wound like that.” Phasma growled. You shot her an angry scowl, your hand shooting up from the ground, metal rod in hand. You smashed it against her dumb, shiny stormtrooper mask, watching her head snap sideway.

You could feel her gaze snap right back on you- pathetic, lying on the red mat with equally red blood matting your hair. But… she wasn’t entirely pissed, you could tell. “Anger will be your best friend.” Her covered voice spoke calmly. You stood on shaky legs, eyeing her suspiciously. “Yeah, okay…” You glanced toward Kylo again. “I get why the stormtroopers are here… but why him?” You held his gaze, feeling it burning. “Commander Ren is here to overlook your first day.” Captain Phasma stated simply.

“Oh yeah?” You snorted. A shudder went down your spine as his familiar buzzing sounded in the back of your head, giving another jolt of pain through your skull. “Now let’s do this again.” She sounded. You outwardly groaned, your head screaming in too many different ways. You wanted him to fuck off. You wanted to not be bleeding from the head.

But hey, who ever listened to what the fuck you wanted anyway?

With a frustrated growl you ran at your captain, both metal rods clanking together in testing strength. Your arms shook against her might, your head ringing. He was distracting you with his presence.

You knew that Captain Phasma had more strength than you; there was no doubt. You slid away from the obscuration, listening as her metal rod swung back toward you. You ducked, rolling away. Before she could land another hit on you, you swung the metal hard, catching her off balance. This was your chance!

You used all your strength to kick her square in the chest, pushing against her armor. The captain fell with a loud thud, hopefully stunned by your sudden power- considering you were smaller than her in height and weight. As you stepped forward to pin the metal rod against her neck, you felt him nearing, his boots clanking against the tiles. In that moment of distraction Captain Phasma had jumped up, jutting against your throat, holding you firm against her cold armor. “Fuck! You distracted me you ass! Why couldn’t you have just fucked off!?” You aimed your angry projection right at Kylo Ren, who stood promptly a few feet away.

Captain Phasma held you there despite your struggling, Kylo’s laugh soft and mocking. “You can let her go.” She did. “Come with me.” He ordered, turning with a swirl of his cape. You scrunched your face in anger, limping after him. A droid beeped as it spun toward you, sliding against the flooring and slamming against the wall beside you. You raised your eyebrows, “uh?”

The droid let out a spastic of beeps, elevating its body up and up until it was face to face with you. “UHH?” Kylo Ren had stopped, turning around to watch silently. The small machine took out a needle, gently spinning it into your arm. Okay, a medical robot? The pain started to ease almost instantly as it started to clean at your matted hair. You sighed peacefully, not even realizing at first the droid was stitching into your head- you hadn’t felt it much. “Thank you.”

A small chirp sounded before it went back down to size, spinning away for the next injury. You laughed awkwardly to yourself, eyes looking toward the commander. He started to stalk away, leaving you to sulk behind him. Who did Kylo Ren think he was?

It wasn’t long before he came upon your room, the hatch opening without a single flick of his wrist. As soon as the two of you entered, you felt yourself burst.

“Who do you think you are, huh!?” You snarled, rounding on him. “I _had_ her!” Your arms flailed up in the air, coming down to smack your sides in frustration. You stood in silence for awhile before you rubbed over where she hit your head, the pain seeping through again. “Why are you even in my room? Get out.”

He didn’t. He just… stood there. It infuriated you. “What? The mask clogging your ears?” You started to storm toward him, fists balled up. Before you could open your mouth to speak again, he was on you, hand crushing your throat. “Do you ever shut up?” He snarled. You grimaced against the familiar strangling sensation.

“What did I say about the attitude? You must want me to fix it.” His voice was husked over, his fingers flexing against your throat. You gulped hard, staring into his visor, the unwanted warmth soaking between your thighs. “I don’t need you to do anything.” You stated, trying to contain the shudder in your voice. You couldn’t help but want to find out what he was hinting at… He let go of your throat, taking a step back.

“Get down on all fours.”

Your face lit up, jaw aghast. “W-what?” You felt your body stagger, lust flowing through your veins unwillingly. “You heard me. Do you want to find out what happens when you disrespect me?”

_Oh fuuuuck_.

You felt foreign, kneeling down before Kylo, looking down at your hands. Your face was on fire, refusing to meet his glare. Kylo paced around you, stopping behind. “Do you remember your first insult against the First Order?” He asked. Despite your humiliation, you shook your head. “How could I? There’s been too many.” He crouched behind you, another mocking snort coming from behind his mask. “Then I’ll preliterate for you…”

_The First Order could suck my clit_.

Your body shook with embarrassment; you hadn’t known at the time he was listening. “Stay where you are,” you heard a click, a familiar hissing of release. “You are not allowed to look back.” A hard roll of something heavy, making your skin prick in anticipation. His leathered hands ghosted over your thighs, sneaking up to the hem. “Good girl.” You hadn’t the time to piece together the deep lull of his voice, unhindered by the mask- he was pulling your pants down. “W-woah!” You turned to rebel, but found yourself unable to move.

Kylo smirked; you were frozen against the Force. “I will make that thought a reality… if you behave.” His words were hot against your skin, his hands now gripping the sweet skin below your ass. Your body unwillingly pressed against the cold of the floor, your cheek meeting it with a frustrated sigh. He had control of your body. His leathered hands continued to fondle your skin, moving to finger tight circles into your ass.

 You held back a whine as one hand came down, smacking a welt onto your exposed ass. The opposing hand moved your panties to the side, a hard swallow following. You were vulnerable against Kylo Ren.

“Why are you doing this?” You whispered. It wasn’t like you weren’t begging internally… but why you? He shifted from behind, a leathered finger dipping slowly up and down your cunt. “So wet… and all for me.” Kylo’s whisper was hoarse- deep and needy. You squirmed from your shameful position, skin igniting against his feathering touches.

He was being deliberate with his slow movements, missing your core, and just circling your clit once to repeat the process. Kylo was going to drive you mad. “P-please.” You whimpered. Kylo Ren chuckled, his single finger ghosting over your clit. You shivered under the touches, “please what?” His voice came calm and sultry, causing a bolt to run up your spine. “Please… commander?” You swished the word in your mouth for a moment- was that what he wanted?

To your surprise his finger left any traces of being on your cunt, the disappointed whine about to leave your throat replaced with a surprised moan as his lips planted a deep kiss against your folds. “ _Oooh fuck_.” You mewled, stretching your fingers with a quiver. You must’ve said the right thing because Kylo was sucking and licking up and around your clit like an animal. His arms were wrapped around your thighs tightly to keep you in place as you felt the Force dwindle away.

You were moaning, body twitching in pre-orgasm clenches. You felt your body shift back into his tongue; almost like you had forgotten who the one between your legs was. Well, your mind was practically blank beside the static white.

Besides Kylo’s previous warning, you glanced behind you through curtains of your hair. Your breath hitched- although his face was covered by, well, your ass, Kylo had _gorgeous_ black locks. You wanted to see him… to see his face… but before he could discover you hadn’t listened, you smashed your face against the ground in particularly loud moan, his tongue working hard toward your orgasm.

You felt your impending orgasm fast, your lips sputtering out begs. “Oh… I’m so close… please.” Kylo’s tongue lapped up and down your cunt, humming in acknowledgment. You were about to cry out, to beg him not to stop, before he did just the opposite.

Kylo stopped.

As you were about to whirl around to yell, he hauled you over his strong shoulder. You stuttered, watching the ground as he carried you to your bed. Kylo Ren settled himself down, pushing you off so you sat on his lower torso, faced away from him. Without words he made his intention known, his erection bulging from his pants. He escorted your hands down to his pants, undoing them so his cock flew into vision.

You swallowed back the whimper- Kylo Ren wasn’t bad. In fact, the sight of it pulsating sent an overflow of saliva in your mouth. “You know what to do. This is your punishment for trying to sneak a peek.” He growled from behind. Kylo’s hands gripped your thighs, massaging them as you dipped your head to lick the tip. His cock was red, a drop of pre cum tasting on your lips as you enveloped him.

Kylo greeted you with a low groan, his spine levitating somewhat into your body. You bobbed your head up and down, your tongue following. The salty taste sent a needy clench toward your abandoned cunt.

You whimpered and moaned around his cock, feeling his hips bucking upward, causing a gag to leave your throat. You moved to dislodge yourself, but froze, feeling a hindering wave crush down on your head. The jackass was using the Force so you couldn’t _not_ suck his dick. You gagged in frustration, swallowing wads of drool and cum. He lifted your thighs over his head, kneading gentle circles into your hips as his lips found your clit once again.

You yelped from under the strain of his cock, your lower belly pooling with need. With a gentle hand you worked the base of his shaft, feeling the warmth of his breath hitch from under you.

Kylo eased his tongue around your clit, lapping and teasingly sucking; pleased by the moans vibrating around his member. You worked hard to drain any moans from him- you deserved it after all his bullshit. A harsh slap came upon your ass, the fingers grazing deep into the skin. That would definitely leave some redness.

A hard spasm cascaded through your belly, a needy groan coming from your working lips. “I’m so close.” You gagged, his hips bucking against your mouth. “You’ve been a good girl.” Kylo huffed past your lips, kissing your inner thigh.

“I do not see why you can’t cum today.” Kylo Ren purred. This shot another spasm through your body, the moans almost uncontrollable as you continued to gag around his cock. His plump lips sent a shiver through your spine as you shut hard, your hips grinding softly against his might.

“Cum.” He ordered, his tongue batting at your clit insanely. You were lost- hit with a bright white as you felt your orgasm torch through your body. Kylo, however, didn’t let you ride it out as smoothly as you had wanted to, his hips still striding eagerly into your mouth. You complied, lips sucking and tongue venturing as soon his orgasm came, his seed spilling into your mouth rapidly. A soft moan escaped your lips and you licked it up, eyelashes batting before- this was Kylo.

The same man that locked and tortured your adopted father. Was he fucking manipulating you? Or… was this something you couldn’t deny yourself?

You slowly collapsed on the bed, ignoring him as the bliss started to die. Kylo didn’t mind as he stood, putting everything back in place- especially the mask. You hadn’t gotten a glimpse of his face, and you could almost curse yourself for such. A perfect opportunity missed. You instead got to watch as he left without another word, the previous pounding of your head returning.

“Well what should I expect from the Commander of the First Order? Leniency? Willingness to stay and cuddle after?” You grumbled to yourself. Of course you didn’t expect that. This was just… a first. Some men had the decency to hang around for an hour after.

With a snort you settled back, waving away the thoughts of, well, anything. You didn’t have the time. You were certain your stomach was going to bruise, and your head was going to be an obnoxious pain for awhile. The release was nice.

_He isn’t going to return for more. They never do. Why worry yourself_? You pulled the covers over your sore body, euphoria wearing off as you stared at the wall.

Captain Phasma was going to kick your ass. _Again._


	6. Master's Teachings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey escapes and you really start to figure your job would forever be cleaning up after Kylo Ren- who has your feelings even more conflicted. Who is this man? And why does the Force work in such mysterious ways?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I wrote like half of this chapter and realized I completely skipped over Rey's escape so let's pretend after Kylo spoke to Snoke about Rey being force-sensitive he went to kiss up on you instead last chapter. (also lets pretend it hasn't been over a month since I updated)
> 
> also, ooooh, are you starting to get a change of heart? :^) Idk I literally have no idea what I'm writing I wrote 98% of this in one day

_You were alone, sitting on a warm, structured rock overhanging the Cliffside. The water underneath lapped and crashed into the boulders- hundreds of feet away. You watched the liquid silently; it was almost as if you were right there, the water spraying and spitting. It threatened to drag you down, drown you till you were well past death._

_“Death.” You mumbled, testing the word on your lips. Your meditation ceased, your forearm moving to rub a bead of sweat off your forehead. Light hammered down from the sky, causing you to wrinkle your face as you fell backward, staring up at the clouds. “Death…” you repeated._

_A chilling wind ruffled your locks, your eyes closing against the coolness. Your master addressed his momentary disappearance two nights before, claiming he had issues with his group of padawans. Of course. Because of your stupid parent’s request of strict separation, you were left to your own devices._

_Which really weren’t a lot besides thinking about how bored you were… and you’ve thought about that thousands of times._

_Your mind reeled in boredom, searching and nitpicking anything and everything. The grass tickled your exposed skin, an exasperated sigh leaving through parted lips. The fragile frame of a lanky man, wrinkles carved through years of careful marksmanship, hair painted salt and pepper- the imagine made you twitch. Next came the bold and harsh features of a woman, hair braided and curled, decorated with jewels passed down through generations; something you wouldn’t be receiving._  
  
You rolled over and up, hands on your knees as you stared over the cliff edge. The water seemingly soothed; were you being mocked? With a scoff you were walking away from the cliff side. Your parents... well, they were a part of a monarchy- highly regarded and vigil. You were born on a ship in the cold of space to very excited newlyweds. The lifestyle of the rich and famous wasn’t for you; at least not in that light. When they heard of Luke Skywalker taking in padawans (however they heard of that), they were suddenly rejoicing. “Our daughter, a Jedi!” You would smile lopsidedly. “What if I do not want to be a Jedi?” You questioned. They would laugh, regard you as silly. The Force was granted in bountiful supplies; the Stars were in alignment the moment of your birth... or so you were always told.   
  
When you met Luke Skywalker, you were young and awe eyed. The man who saved the galaxy! You grew to refer him fondly, for he was still the same man... but he was mischievous and light as air, tough but regarding and fond. Master Skywalker was an excellent teacher. He taught you how to breathe past the pollution of darkness. You were one with the clouds, drifting and peaceful. You smiled to yourself, fingers drawling across the two lightsabers at both hips. He considered you the genius of a new generation. You were flexible and cat-like, your mind allowing extensive thought processes so renowned you mastered the art of dual wielding under a year.   
  
You collapsed down upon a warm boulder, pursing your lips in thought. What would the future hold for you? Would you graduate and live a slow and civilized life? Perhaps the Republic would rise again and you would fight beside your Master. You snorted. “I shouldn’t wish such a thing. A lifetime of peace with the knowledge of combat if needed... I guess I could put a hold on adventure.”   
  
——-  
  
“Get up,” a feminine voice spoke behind asphyxiated carbon. Captain Phasma stood tall and unmoving, hidden eyes piercing you with icy needles.   
  
You smeared a line of blood from your bottom lip, glaring. Your muscles ached against the captain’s intense way of training, your chest heaving despite your attempts otherwise. As you stood, you tallied over just how long you’ve been training. At least three hours. You weighed the familiar cold of the rod in hand, twirling it a few times before holding it hard.   
  
Just before you moved to attack, the hatch before you hissed open to reveal the general. “General Hux.” Phasma greeted coldly. You eased your body; a few moments for a damn break. I mean, did she even drink water? Helloooo, dehydration! “I’m here for her.” Hux’s eyes were on you like wild fire. You frowned. What could he possibly want from you?

“The scavenger has escaped her bondage. The Supreme Leader demands you to accompany Commander Ren in finding what he _lost_.” He turned toward the tall woman across from you. “Captain Phasma, gather your troops. This is an emergency.”

You swallowed the wad of anxiety back down. That scavenger girl was this big of a problem? You gave a simple sigh before pushing past General Hux, the rod still held tightly in your grip. Although you personally held no affiliation yet, if you were to disobey Snoke’s orders, you were sure to be punished.

And not in the way Kylo Ren seemed fit.

A shudder overcame your body, a soft image of the other night exploding in your brain. You parted your lips with a soft inhale, your legs clenching together. Of course even without Kylo being physically here he was still inhibiting you from your current duty. You rolled your eyes with a scowl, bounding down the alarmed hallways for that dumb scavenger girl that really wasn’t **that** dumb if she escaped the First Order. Unless it wasn’t that hard…

You rounded the corner tightly, keeping your back straight- you wanted to look threatening. If this was a large enough issue for the Supreme Leader, she was probably cunning, and you didn’t want to look inept.

Your eyes widened for a moment of panic as a group of nine stormtroopers hurtled past, all tight and proper in their square, blasters in place against their chests. You gave a small nod before slithering past another wing, suddenly very confused… how the fuck were you going to find this girl if you didn’t even know where the hell _you_ were?!  You sighed, leaning against a panel.

This became your reality all too quick… and you hadn’t even said yes. I mean, what were you doing here? You could escape. You could book it the fuck off Starkiller base and go hide out on some distant planet where they couldn’t find you…

…but they would. You struggled with the practices you remember _clearly_ mastering years ago; you couldn’t hide from the First Order, even if you wanted to. You needed the training they provided- that doesn’t mean you owe them shit. You did not owe them your skills nor your life. And as you continued to waltz down the unfamiliar hallway (I mean, they all looked the same), you felt the creeping violation up your spine. You outwardly groaned, looking over your left shoulder toward your commander coming right for you.

The pain wasn’t creeping into your brain, it instead lingered somewhere uncomfortably in your lower cerebellum. “What do you want?” You snapped when he stopped before you- towering as his fingers curled into fists. “Do you always address your commanding officers in such a disrespectful tone?” Kylo blankly asked. The modulator didn’t help when you would try to figure his mood.

“Only the ones I don’t like, _commander_.” You smirked bitterly. You were not in the mood for him to belittle you. “Are you not supposed to be looking for the scavenger you let escape?” His shoulders tensed, head cocking to the side as you literally felt the anger billow from his veins.

“Because I mean, if you get to fuck around while I was taken out of my training surely I should get the same respect?” You aimed to strike a nerve.

“Respect?” Kylo snorted. He took a step toward you, his body twitching in soft laughter. You stepped back. “What entitles you to respect?” Another step. You were up against the wall. “You are juvenile!” His hands punched dents into the opposing walls right beside your head. You clutched the metal rod- still in your hand- nervously. You struck a nerve. “When I first set my sights on you… I knew you were different. Supreme Leader Snoke says you have incredible potential… but you are nothing but a child who can’t learn when to shut their mouth!”

You grimaced- he was too close. It ignited a warmth in your belly when you breathed in his scent. One hand moved to grip your chin, a gloved thumb rubbing circles onto your bruised, lower lip. You swallowed, raising your eyes to meet his behind the visor. “You’re not afraid.” Kylo observed. “No… quite the opposite.” The purr in his voice made your knees weak.

Kylo continued to pull and play with your bottom lip before stepping back, his hands falling to his sides. “Get back to your duty. _Find me the scavenger_.”

And with that the brute was storming away down the dark corridor, your eyes following him until he disappeared. You swallowed, frowning in guilty disappointment. What was he playing at?

Your hand grazed your chin, letting out a frustrated groan as you continued off the opposite way of where the Commander went. He was annoying, persistent, and way too good with that fucking tongue of his. You twitched, staring blankly at the span of hallway in front of you.

**WHAAAAM WHAAAAM** (this is what an alarm sounds like yes)

Red lights increased, violently flashing with the assistance of an emergency alarm. Before you could bother to question why, the whole ground shook. Your breath hitched in your throat; suddenly everyone was scattering. Stormtroopers were running out of formation. “Are we under attack?” You swallowed.

Without much thought you spun on your heels, running past the panicking employees. You had a different plan- one you weren’t sure of. Your heart burned, anxious as to why your mind screamed directions at you.

Your feet betrayed you because deep down you knew where you were going, like you were being dragged toward the ominous force… The Force… You couldn’t understand it but you knew once you had and that one thing was clear: Trust it.

\-----

_“Which way will you take?” The soft hum of your Master behind you surprisingly relaxed your tense body. You stood in a forest; blindfolded, understanding you were stuck with two options of paths. To your knowledge one led to safety- a way out. The other would drag you around for days, confusing your senses till you wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore. Your lips were pursed in a tight line, deep in thought. You outstretched your hands, palms down, fingers twitching for some sign. You inhaled tightly, “what if I make the wrong decision?” A strange bird squawked from above, twirling in the cloud-burdened sky before swooping back into the forest. You suddenly hoped to see through the eyes of the creature, for you would have been able to see the correct path to take. Luke sighed behind you, “what is your gut telling you? Listen to yourself. You will make the right decision.”_

_You stood in the same spot; hands sprawled in the air before you, for another countless hour. Sweat formed at your brow. Your master was calmly watching you through the concentrated meditation, thoughtful and intense. He believed in you. You nibbled at your bottom lip- your mind couldn’t make a decision. There was too much chaos and anxiety. “Clear your mind.” Luke spoke your name fondly as to not spook you. You gave a curt nod, exhaling every fear through your nose before there was nothing but white. The white soon congealed; how were you looking at your hands if your eyes were closed? You examined the way your hands moved before the answer came simple, “neither are correct. It’s a trick question.” Your lips curved into a small, hopeful smile._

_Luke took a step to stand in front of you, hands coaxing yours back down to your sides. With a nervous twitch your eyes fluttered open, greeted by the proud look of a Master with nothing else to teach for the day- the look you loved, because it meant you did good… and you could go home and sleep. “One day, you will be an excellent master to another generation of padawans.” He praised. Your smile broke wider, the tears pricking your eyes. “Remember to always follow the Force. It will not let you down.”_

_\------_

When you arrived into a large overhang, you were sure you were led to the right place. Although you didn’t know where you were, you could see down to a bridge just a level under you. The feeling in your gut soothed when your eyes landed on Kylo Ren walking across that same bridge; why was the galaxy bringing you to him? You frowned in irritation but took the words of your master with a grain of salt. He wasn’t wrong before- there must be a reason.

You moved toward the stairs before halting. There was someone approaching Kylo. You stiffened, leaning against the guard rail cautiously, metal rod itching to be used in your hand. Kylo turned toward the old man, your eyes squinting. Was that… the same old man that shot you? What the fuck.

“That off that mask! You don’t need it.” Han spoke as he edged forward. “What do you think you’ll see if I do?” He was calm, you noted. You silenced your quickening breath as much as you could, hoping you were out of sight from Kylo. The man went to speak again, the words leaving his mouth turning to pierce your chest.

“ ** _The face of my son_**.”

You couldn’t help the confused contortion throughout your face. His… son? Kylo’s father? You suddenly felt the urge to leave; this wasn’t something you were involved in… but your feet wouldn’t move, eyes glued on Kylo. He lifted his gloved hands to unlock his mask; the familiar hiss had your breath stuck in your throat, watching with unwavering eyes as the carbon was lifted off. When your eyes looked upon his face, there was a haunting silence that filled the base.

You found it hard to breathe. That… that man was Kylo Ren. The black locks you knew were accompanied by pale skin, an acute, strong jaw and nose… those flushed pink lips… angry, unforgiving dark eyes. An unfiltered, shaky breath left your lips, unable to fully process the fury of words that spat past those lips. As you shook your head of the shock, you were aware of other bodies in the area. Three. You took a step back from the rail. You didn’t want to be seen by anyone.

When you looked upon the pair again, they were feet apart, torn by their differences. You could feel it from where you stood. A father and a son… but no middle ground.

“It’s too late.” Kylo faltered. You swallowed another wad of anxiety- you wouldn’t believe you were watching Kylo Ren, the commander of the Knights of Ren and the First Order, weakened in the presence of his father. “No it’s not. Leave here with me- come home.” His father urged. His next words were whispers, too hushed for you to listen. As the thought of Kylo Ren murdering you if he found out you were here crossed your mind, you were met with the similar burning in the back of your head.

He knew you were here. That dumb, handsome man was going to kill you.

Kylo looked upon his father with grief; was he not bothered you were here? “I’m being torn apart.” His voice cracked, “I want to be free of this pain.” Kylo Ren paused, eyes darting to the floor before meeting Han’s again. “I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it… Will you help me?” You were hit with a pang of sympathy. Han was a breath away now from his son- you couldn’t see his face. “Of course. Anything.” Kylo dropped his mask, the clank radiating throughout the open space.

You were on edge, unable to take your eyes off the two. If Kylo Ren knew you were here, why leave? It was selfish of you, yes. But… you _couldn’t_ leave. He unhooked the lightsaber from his hip, examining it with his eyes. He was unsure.

The saber was held between Kylo and his father, the two holding it with confidence; yet uncertainty. What came next was accompanied with screams- but they weren’t yours. Kylo Ren’s lightsaber went right through Han’s body. A feeling of delusion overcame you… of course he wasn’t this soft. It was a façade. He wanted you to stay to intimidate you. You gulped as the old man cupped Kylo’s face, watching as he flung his father’s body over the side of the bridge, leaving it to fall for ages.

For a moment there was silence- shock. Then, a blaster, Kylo’s grunt of anguish as he kneeled down from a shot. “Commander!” You jumped over the rail, falling the few feet with a grunt, taking a dramatic roll before multitude of Stormtrooper’s appeared, blasters being shot from every angle. You paused, heart thumping through your chest as bombs went off up in a line for at least five floors, the heat penetrating.

You turned in alarm as Kylo Ren angrily slumped down the bridge, regaining his masculine and threatening pace like he hadn’t been shot. He only stopped for a moment to stare at you, his eyes intense and vexed. The buzzing sound that once lingered stopped to send a full on attack to your brain. The metal rod once clasped so tightly fell with a clang, your hands pulling and ripping at your scalp as the intricate pain seeped and swelled.

With a forced backed whimper you peered back up to find him disappearing, your eyes just catching the scavenger and her friend running from the story above. In pure frustration you punched yourself in the head, trying to will the pain away. As he eased away, so did the violating pain. You knelt down to grab the metal training rod, twirling it threateningly as you stalked after them and into the cold.

If the Force wanted you to follow Kylo Ren and those stupid intruders, you weren’t going to let anything stop you.


End file.
